This weekend my husband and I celebrated our 10-year anniversary and although it was a happy time for all of us, I couldn’t help but think of the loss that my family and I experienced in the span of those ten years. As I planned and prepared for our upcoming trip, I listened to our wedding day playlist. I was full of memories, both happy and sad memories. A decade’s worth of memories.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
In planning our trip, I struggled with feeling a mixture of smiles and tears. I would waver with feeling emotions that ranged from grief and excitement. Anyone that has experienced a loss, knows what I am referring to.
As I listened to the wedding playlist, I had a ton of smiles on my face as I recalled specific moments from our wedding day. I remembered how I cried tears of joy when I saw my uncle for the first time in years. I remembered where my cousin sat for dinner on the right side of the ballroom. I remembered my uncle’s face full of happiness as he watched my husband and I dance our last dance. I remembered how my mom’s cousin sent me a message that she would not be able to attend.
I felt happiness to have lived those moments with them. I also cried as I longed to see them again.
This is grief. It comes and goes like ocean waves splashing onto the shore.
There is no running from grief. You just allow yourself to live it and experience it. You smile at your memories and cry for the void.
You Can Experience Joy Again
Oftentimes there is guilt in moving forward. We confuse moving forward with moving on.
When we move on, we move on to something new or something different. On the other hand, when we move forward, we continue to cope as best possible and we grow from our life experiences. We don’t forget.
Our loved ones continue to occupy space within our hearts and minds.
You can experience happiness again and you should gift yourself the ability to experience joy again.
Life can be good again without having to sacrifice having our loved ones within our thoughts.
Continue to count your blessings
In the last decade, there has been loss for many of us and there have been blessings as well. My husband and I will celebrate something we strived to have for many years. Our twins. Our children are the biggest blessing of our lives.
Children have a way of adding simple and honest joy to your life by the simplicity of their existence and how fully present they are in carefree enjoyment of every second of the day.
I can count 100 blessings in a day by being presently aware of everything that surrounds me. What blessings are you able to count? Go ahead and take a daily inventory.
Continue to Take care of yourself
Get rid of the guilt for wanting to experience something you enjoy. You can enjoy life and still mourn your loved one. Your heart has enough room for both.
One thing I like to do to keep my loved ones present and in my heart, is praying for them. As part of my daily self-care routine and toolkit, I take my rosary, hold it in my hand and pray for the people that I have lost.
I did that during my time celebrating my anniversary with my family.
What can you incorporate into your self-care routine to continue to grieve your loved ones in a healthy way while at the same time achieving self-care? I hope this helps you today to continue to experience self-care and self-love for yourself.
You can read more about self-care routines by clicking here.
Now go on and don’t forget to be your most beautiful self.
Elizabeth
